Try a Little Tenderness
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May 31, 2018
On The Bridge Retreat, we call the part of you that holds your pain your ‘Wounded Child.’ We label it this way because often that wound stems from childhood. For example, if one of your parents died or left when you were young, you may have felt abandoned and so one of your core wounds would naturally be around abandonment. If you were unable to process the pain at the time of the hurt (which most of us weren’t taught to do) you can then become stuck as a child emotionally. What you are suffering from is a form of emotional arrested development. Your body grows, and you look and function like an adult, but when you get into certain situations, be it at work or in an intimate relationship, when that abandonment wound gets triggered, you find yourself reacting like a child. Without realising it you are reacting as you would have done at the time of the original wound.
One clue that your Wounded child is alive and kicking inside of you is if you find yourself highly reactive in your life. If people and situations seem to trigger you easily then this is an indicator of some pain inside of you that remains unhealed. It’s the hurt child inside waiting patiently for you to remember. A common reaction to this part of ourselves is to want to shut it up. We can belittle it and try to tough it out and push on through; unwilling to acknowledge or accept that our past is affecting our adult lives. But this rejection of the Wounded child is a rejection of a part of ourselves, preventing us from fully thriving and feeling whole.
Your Wounded child will then start to get your attention by whispering; showing you with subtle signs of its need to be heard. If you don’t listen however, that whisper gets louder, becomes a shout and the signs in your life get more obvious, from a depression, anxiety, to a physical illness, for example. Then finally if you still aren’t listening that shout will turn into a very loud SCREAM! A massive crisis of some kind will occur in your life, your body, to make you stop, and give you the opportunity to go inside and do your inner healing work. The child within will one way or another make itself heard.
On The Bridge Retreat we work deeply with this part of you and when you have the courage to allow the child within to express the pain, to feel the hurts and to share their stories, another voice can truly begin to be heard. Your own. This voice within we call your Wise Adult. And this voice is one of clarity, direction and hope. This is the voice of compassion and love. The part of us that knows what to do, that leads us to make healthier choices and allows us to live our true potential.
It is this part of us, that guides us home…
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