Try a Little Tenderness
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June 5, 2018
Energetically, the heart represents our centre in the body where balance, love and relationships are dealt with. Just as the heart is the most important organ in the body, so it is in our psyche. Love is the highest channel of life force available to us and the greatest power in our life. As a culture we may focus on power, yet we are driven by love. To love and be loved is the simple, direct and pure need of all humans. Love is a force that runs our lives. We cannot live without it, yet the world is challenged with the absence of it.
The heart can easily be damaged and wounded from a tender young age. It may not have been the absence of love, but the lack of healthy love that caused you to close your heart. How many children have been spanked, abused, punished, smothered or over controlled whilst being told, “I love you so much”? Within these mixed messages, love becomes twisted, torn, distorted and used as a means of control. Without knowing what healthy love looks or feels like, it is then very hard to create or accept it in our adult lives. We may instead learn to settle for crumbs of love, or run in fear of it, and yet long for it at our very core because love is all that we are and without reconnecting to it, we can never feel truly whole.
Having our heart broken may cause us to become so full of grief and when the emotions remain unprocessed, they can be channelled into the physical body through illness and ailments. Loss becomes a physical emptiness, and longing is transmuted into a feeling that often cannot be put into words. Mending a broken heart can seem such a mammoth task that we dare not attempt it for fear of damaging ourselves further. But heartbreak, like all emotions, falls into the domain of our conscious influence. Often the pain that wounds most deeply, leaves the most enduring mark. Processing this pain will lead us down a path of healing, blessing our life with new depth and richness.
Acknowledging the impermanence of heartbreak, by no means dulls its sting. In fact, it is the sting itself that stimulates healing. The pain reminds us to pay attention to our emotional self. It is said that time heals all wounds. Whilst it is true that time may dull the pain of a broken heart, only by fully acknowledging, feeling and experiencing our pain, will we truly experience deep healing. Allowing our heartache to express itself today, instead of putting it off until tomorrow, is the key to repair. Gentleness above anything else is called for. To be open to the possibility of loving, trusting and believing again. When, someday soon, we emerge from the cushion of our grief, we will see that the Universe did not cease to exist whilst we nursed our broken heart. We can emerge on the other side of the healing, stronger, wiser and more grateful for everything that we have experienced.
“Love is the bridge between you and everything.” Rumi
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